It may take a couple installments to get my point out but bare with me.
What do I mean when I say goals are over-rated? Well, I'm not saying that they are detrimental. Some people have given the word "goal" a definition that included some value and then made huge progress by setting goals. I won't deny that. But I'm going to argue that I can rephrase the definition of the word "goal," to exclude those positive aspects. I think we can get those benefits elsewhere without the the negatives inherent to goal setting.
I've found most of the times I've set goals it turned into a list of things to fail at. I would write things like lose five pounds. Well why would I write that? I'm probably a good 50 pounds overweight. What I really want is to be healthy. So why not make that a goal? Well a goal needs to be quantifiable, and something I deem achievable. If the net effect of my life so far has been to teach me that I can't achieve things, or that I'm unworthy of getting the things I want, then it doesn't matter if I set a goal I won't get anywhere. The goal only works to track my next failed attempt. It can reinforce my feeling of being trapped.
Goal setting is limited to what I think I want. I know anorexics who achieve my five pound weight loss goal on a regular basis. And we are always swimming against the current because the nature of a goal is to take you from where (who) you are to where (who) you aren't.
Vision on the other hand, is far more sophisticated at helping us make positive change. Starting with an assessment of where we are, the good and the bad, you can begin to search inside for what you really want. As the picture of who you really are becomes more clear you can go about the work of ditching the things that aren't you.
If I can envision myself healthy, in vivid detail, I will continue to do the healthy things that will cause me to loose first the five pounds and later the rest of the weight. Clear vision also enables me to excite other people who care about me to help.
More late...
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
A Nice Reword of a Famous Quote
I cut these excerpts from Mike Pinks newsletter because they speak to me.
One way quite frankly is to get mad. I know that doesn’t seem very spiritual, but it can be. Have you had enough yet? At the end of Isaac’s life he blessed Esau by saying… “By your sword you shall live and serve your brother, but the time will come when you will grow restive and break loose and take dominion, and tear his yoke off from your neck.” Have you grown restive yet? Are you mad yet? Have you had enough of barely making it?
Aye, fight and you may lose. Run, and you’ll survive… at least a while longer. But dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance to come back here and confront your fears and step into the battle and actually live out what you say you believe and put it all on the line?
You might lose your money, but you will never lose your reward. You might lose a battle here and there, but you will never again lose heart and more importantly, you will have found courage and honor and valor and love. Fear may have taken your past, but it will never again rob you of your future! It’s time to move into your destiny. Just don’t expect it to come without a battle and a few scars to show for it.
One way quite frankly is to get mad. I know that doesn’t seem very spiritual, but it can be. Have you had enough yet? At the end of Isaac’s life he blessed Esau by saying… “By your sword you shall live and serve your brother, but the time will come when you will grow restive and break loose and take dominion, and tear his yoke off from your neck.” Have you grown restive yet? Are you mad yet? Have you had enough of barely making it?
Aye, fight and you may lose. Run, and you’ll survive… at least a while longer. But dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance to come back here and confront your fears and step into the battle and actually live out what you say you believe and put it all on the line?
You might lose your money, but you will never lose your reward. You might lose a battle here and there, but you will never again lose heart and more importantly, you will have found courage and honor and valor and love. Fear may have taken your past, but it will never again rob you of your future! It’s time to move into your destiny. Just don’t expect it to come without a battle and a few scars to show for it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
A Good Word
So at worship last Saturday a recent acquaintance and strong prophetic voice pulled me aside to say that she felt Isaiah 61: was important for me, that it was a now word. I love Isaiah 61 as it's Christ's mission statement and the real heart of the great commission. I think many Christians get lost when they say the great commission is to spread the gospel, there's nothing wrong with that, but it's more like a virus than a good word. It helps to think of the gospel in action as described by Christ in Luke 4 when Jesus reads Isaiah 61 in the synagogue. Anyway, this friend said verses 6-9 were especially important for me in starting here and now.
Isaiah 61:
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.
7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
So I'm definitely choosing to align myself with that one.
God Bless,
Andy
Isaiah 61:
6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.
7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."
So I'm definitely choosing to align myself with that one.
God Bless,
Andy
Monday, May 18, 2009
A tough weekend
Well, when the rubber hits the road as they say...I can't claim to have followed through on all my plans. This was a tough weekend--lots of falling short of my goals--but I'm still happier than I have been in a long time. I'm succeeding at more things than I would be if I hadn't tried.
Often when I have a particularly challenging time it means something big is coming about. I thought I might bother writing about the challenges, but I'm glad I didn't get time to because today I want to write about the developments.
God has been consistent in pronouncing two things over me since I got my heart back. 1) I'm a writer. 2) I'm an Archer. I have traditionally focused on the writing, and instantly ignored the Archery. I have been willing to entertain the notion that I was a good instructor and could be again as part of volunteering at youth camps and things. I never let myself dream about it though. I've become such a fan of dreaming and God has shown me so many things about dreaming that it's hypocritical of me not to dream about archery. Still I never did.
My parents never invested in my archery passion. They bought me a bow and set up hay bails for me, but there were no lessons, or clubs, or tournaments. Much like my writing it was discouraged as impractical.
Well in realizing that I want to be a life coach I've realized that I have bigger dreams for archery as well. I want to make a reputation for shooting and teaching archery, then vault from that into life coaching.
Often when I have a particularly challenging time it means something big is coming about. I thought I might bother writing about the challenges, but I'm glad I didn't get time to because today I want to write about the developments.
God has been consistent in pronouncing two things over me since I got my heart back. 1) I'm a writer. 2) I'm an Archer. I have traditionally focused on the writing, and instantly ignored the Archery. I have been willing to entertain the notion that I was a good instructor and could be again as part of volunteering at youth camps and things. I never let myself dream about it though. I've become such a fan of dreaming and God has shown me so many things about dreaming that it's hypocritical of me not to dream about archery. Still I never did.
My parents never invested in my archery passion. They bought me a bow and set up hay bails for me, but there were no lessons, or clubs, or tournaments. Much like my writing it was discouraged as impractical.
Well in realizing that I want to be a life coach I've realized that I have bigger dreams for archery as well. I want to make a reputation for shooting and teaching archery, then vault from that into life coaching.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Break Through
So, today, as I'm praying over the options before me (options of what to dream of not options that are physically presenting themselves) I listened to a webinar by Micheal Q. Pink about becoming a Rain Forest strategy Consultant and he pointed out the light starts it all off. We have to have a clear vision of what we want or we won't be able to go after the other things we need. I was reviewing the ideas of taking my book on the road to sign/sell, going to Phoenix U to finish a bachelors in business, and going to Panama to learn to be a business consultant in the Rain Forest Strategy. I felt as though these are disparate dreams, sort of all-good-but-in-each-others-way type of dream. Like when you ask a kid what he wants to be when he grows up and he answers, a fireman or a doctor. I felt as though I couldn't be passionate and have a clear vision about me doing all of the above--though they all feel equally appealing. God reminded me that He had promessed me clear vision. The Lord began to point to a place of intersection. Life Coaching.
I've always thought of life coaches as Russel Durritz (The Kid) kind of people. They can't possibly really have it all together so they must make the most of the part they do and fake the rest. But the obstacles in my life began to line up and make sense. I need to overcome in Christ, a weight problem, disorganization, lack of follow through issues, romantic relationship issues, and poverty. On the two book shelves closest to me are 72 books about success in these areas plus a tape series. I'm pertty sure I have more all over the house, actually I know I have two in the bathroom right now. I'm clearly passionate on this idea. Last time I tried to come up with a vision statement I got as far as "helping people make a small but significant improvement in their lives for a buck." And think of the Chrysalis project (all about managing change).
God calls me "Friend," that's my access point. That's the special nature between us that has immerged in the last couple years of asking, "who do I say God is for me in this season, and who does God say that I am?" I knew that I could be a friend and work as a plumber, so I didn't think it was very descriptive, but now I'm thinking friend/coach makes sense. Where does my great passion meet the need of the world? I've known I was annointed to be a counselor but again I didn't feel called to be a shrink exactly. My pioneer nature and my annointing to read the signs of the times also fit in to this vision.
I want to pioneer a new methods in life coaching and write a book about it. On the way there I want to learn and employ the methods of others, and make a living at it. Toward that end I do want to finish my business degree, become certified through the Rain Forest Institute among others, and tour behind my current book. I also intend to overcome the obsticles that are in my way that I may learn about them, and learn ways to defeat them.
Now that's some good clarity for my time of prayer and fasting. Now I need to go outside and enjoy the perfect afternoon that's out there.
I've always thought of life coaches as Russel Durritz (The Kid) kind of people. They can't possibly really have it all together so they must make the most of the part they do and fake the rest. But the obstacles in my life began to line up and make sense. I need to overcome in Christ, a weight problem, disorganization, lack of follow through issues, romantic relationship issues, and poverty. On the two book shelves closest to me are 72 books about success in these areas plus a tape series. I'm pertty sure I have more all over the house, actually I know I have two in the bathroom right now. I'm clearly passionate on this idea. Last time I tried to come up with a vision statement I got as far as "helping people make a small but significant improvement in their lives for a buck." And think of the Chrysalis project (all about managing change).
God calls me "Friend," that's my access point. That's the special nature between us that has immerged in the last couple years of asking, "who do I say God is for me in this season, and who does God say that I am?" I knew that I could be a friend and work as a plumber, so I didn't think it was very descriptive, but now I'm thinking friend/coach makes sense. Where does my great passion meet the need of the world? I've known I was annointed to be a counselor but again I didn't feel called to be a shrink exactly. My pioneer nature and my annointing to read the signs of the times also fit in to this vision.
I want to pioneer a new methods in life coaching and write a book about it. On the way there I want to learn and employ the methods of others, and make a living at it. Toward that end I do want to finish my business degree, become certified through the Rain Forest Institute among others, and tour behind my current book. I also intend to overcome the obsticles that are in my way that I may learn about them, and learn ways to defeat them.
Now that's some good clarity for my time of prayer and fasting. Now I need to go outside and enjoy the perfect afternoon that's out there.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
May 13, 2009 2:15 AM
Yesterday, one of my tenants lent me a movie. That's never happened before. Out of the blue she volunteered that if I hadn't seen it I needed to, and then lent it to me. Today I watched it, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button." I'd been scrupulously avoiding that film. Not that I doubted its quality, but I was pretty sure that a sad, cathartic film was not what I needed at this juncture. I was wrong.
I do recommend the movie to anyone, its very well done and has like the cover says it must be experienced to appreciate. I'll give an update on where things are in a minute but want to talk about a couple things that struck me while watching this film.
I noticed how many cruel things happen in life, but since the film moves on to follow the major theme of the romance between Benjamin and Daisey, the tough things are in context. I found myself wishing the cruel moments away, wanting to get on with the beautiful, joyous moments. I'm now reflecting on the cruel things; the bitter sweet things; that I've endured, and wondering why I didn't feel the same about those. I have to conclude that there are a lot of things I've haven't grieved and moved past and it's stealing from my joyful highs.
I also noted that, even when characters made choices to avoid the pain that would come from walking through their ill-fated romance they still returned to experience part of it. At one point Ben decides to leave so that Daisy can move onto a normal life instead of having to suffer through his gradual regression to youth. But he comes back to see her. In fiction we realize that a human must experience everything there is to a cruel moment. We are drawn back to that moment because the pain of not walking it out is worse than knowing what it really feels like.
Again, we are doomed to suffer every dark happening in life until we face it and then set it aside.
Finally, I love the message about it never being too late for something. The only real gift of Benjamen's condition is that he experienced his physical youth (mid twenties?? maybe late teens??) When his mind and actual physical age were late 50's early 60's. Ben is able to leave all his worldly possessions and go in search of meaning, which is something I bet every man that age feels a calling to do.
Well, here's what's happening lately. I put it out there that I was searching for an RV, because God has been reawakening that desire. (like any truly exciting desire it's totally inexplicable.) Well an old friend from high school got sent me an IM and I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow to see one his dad has for sale. IT sounds promising. Now I just have to find the financing. (haha, I'm dead broke.)
I ran into a website where someone posted pictures of castles in England. Like a lot of people I love castles, but scanning through I saw pictures of Lindisfarn for the first time and I felt painful nostalgia for it. I've never been there, but I have a hunch I need to go.
Other big news, I heard from the production department at iUniverse and they have already completed my proof copy. So I'm closer to finished product than I'd thought based on their other emails. I will make time to go through the proof copy tomorrow. It also reminds me that all this warfare has been stealing away a high moment that I've been looking forward to my whole life. I should have been smiling my way through every pot hole on the way to this moment and I've been miserable and distracted. If I hadn't watched that movie tonight I might not have missed it all together.
This is something God and I have been squabbling over for a year or two. It's in God's nature to awaken the desires of my heart, deepen them, and then fulfill them. But when I look at characters like Abraham who are promised a child and then don't get him for decades, that doesn't feel like receiving. That attitude pisses God off by the way, but I needed to work through it. This is what I'm starting to see now: If God gives me a desire that is with in my grasp I'll just go get it. Look at Christmas, we have to wait till the last minute and buy something expensive because if its affordable they'll just go get it themselves. It's worse if my desire is just out of reach because I'll be really irresponsible and go get it anyway.
So if God takes his time and deepens a desire I have that is really big and way outside my grasp, by the time He brings it about I've lost hope and it feels anticlimactic. It's been a problem since I was young. My parents used to have to distract me at Christmas or I'd throw up from anticipation. I want things so intensely that I either must have them, or must loose them to end my suffering.
The image is one of me getting off an amazing roller coaster and God looks at my face and says next time try to enjoy the ride. Another way to say it is this, the purpose of ski diving isn't to fly or to hit the ground, but to transition from one to the other as slowly as possible.
As a writer I face 3 questions: 1) can I finish a book, 2) can I sell it, 3) can I do it again. I'm really looking for the answers to these questions to say something about who I am and that's not how it works. I need to be a writer because that's who God says I am, and then I need to write because that's what writers do. The part of me that doesn't finish things needs to die and be replaced by someone who savors every step of the process all the way to its end. This is change at the level of reinvention.
I do recommend the movie to anyone, its very well done and has like the cover says it must be experienced to appreciate. I'll give an update on where things are in a minute but want to talk about a couple things that struck me while watching this film.
I noticed how many cruel things happen in life, but since the film moves on to follow the major theme of the romance between Benjamin and Daisey, the tough things are in context. I found myself wishing the cruel moments away, wanting to get on with the beautiful, joyous moments. I'm now reflecting on the cruel things; the bitter sweet things; that I've endured, and wondering why I didn't feel the same about those. I have to conclude that there are a lot of things I've haven't grieved and moved past and it's stealing from my joyful highs.
I also noted that, even when characters made choices to avoid the pain that would come from walking through their ill-fated romance they still returned to experience part of it. At one point Ben decides to leave so that Daisy can move onto a normal life instead of having to suffer through his gradual regression to youth. But he comes back to see her. In fiction we realize that a human must experience everything there is to a cruel moment. We are drawn back to that moment because the pain of not walking it out is worse than knowing what it really feels like.
Again, we are doomed to suffer every dark happening in life until we face it and then set it aside.
Finally, I love the message about it never being too late for something. The only real gift of Benjamen's condition is that he experienced his physical youth (mid twenties?? maybe late teens??) When his mind and actual physical age were late 50's early 60's. Ben is able to leave all his worldly possessions and go in search of meaning, which is something I bet every man that age feels a calling to do.
Well, here's what's happening lately. I put it out there that I was searching for an RV, because God has been reawakening that desire. (like any truly exciting desire it's totally inexplicable.) Well an old friend from high school got sent me an IM and I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow to see one his dad has for sale. IT sounds promising. Now I just have to find the financing. (haha, I'm dead broke.)
I ran into a website where someone posted pictures of castles in England. Like a lot of people I love castles, but scanning through I saw pictures of Lindisfarn for the first time and I felt painful nostalgia for it. I've never been there, but I have a hunch I need to go.
Other big news, I heard from the production department at iUniverse and they have already completed my proof copy. So I'm closer to finished product than I'd thought based on their other emails. I will make time to go through the proof copy tomorrow. It also reminds me that all this warfare has been stealing away a high moment that I've been looking forward to my whole life. I should have been smiling my way through every pot hole on the way to this moment and I've been miserable and distracted. If I hadn't watched that movie tonight I might not have missed it all together.
This is something God and I have been squabbling over for a year or two. It's in God's nature to awaken the desires of my heart, deepen them, and then fulfill them. But when I look at characters like Abraham who are promised a child and then don't get him for decades, that doesn't feel like receiving. That attitude pisses God off by the way, but I needed to work through it. This is what I'm starting to see now: If God gives me a desire that is with in my grasp I'll just go get it. Look at Christmas, we have to wait till the last minute and buy something expensive because if its affordable they'll just go get it themselves. It's worse if my desire is just out of reach because I'll be really irresponsible and go get it anyway.
So if God takes his time and deepens a desire I have that is really big and way outside my grasp, by the time He brings it about I've lost hope and it feels anticlimactic. It's been a problem since I was young. My parents used to have to distract me at Christmas or I'd throw up from anticipation. I want things so intensely that I either must have them, or must loose them to end my suffering.
The image is one of me getting off an amazing roller coaster and God looks at my face and says next time try to enjoy the ride. Another way to say it is this, the purpose of ski diving isn't to fly or to hit the ground, but to transition from one to the other as slowly as possible.
As a writer I face 3 questions: 1) can I finish a book, 2) can I sell it, 3) can I do it again. I'm really looking for the answers to these questions to say something about who I am and that's not how it works. I need to be a writer because that's who God says I am, and then I need to write because that's what writers do. The part of me that doesn't finish things needs to die and be replaced by someone who savors every step of the process all the way to its end. This is change at the level of reinvention.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Season of Prayer and Fasting
There is a term for seasons like the one I'm in. Wilderness experiences. For those of you who haven't read the post before this one you should, because it lays the ground work for this series of entries. It isn't complete though. For one thing I forgot to mention the health problems like sleep apnea and high blood pressure that have added to my usual weight problem. My last entry also didn't cover what I'm going to do about all this crisis.
I'm deliberately entering into a time of prayer and fasting, and God has blessed me with a couple big opportunities for reflection during this season. God has also begun to reveal things and bring clarity, so I know that its working and I'm really encouraged by that.
The action plan started May 5 and will last until my birthday June 9. It includes:
fitting in a 5 day liver cleanse
change of diet and exercise (to be discovered en route)
writing in this blog daily (lol we can see how that's gone so far)
writing a book in 30 days (I've wanted to do this for a long time)
Simplifying and organizing projects
When I say God has really met me in this I mean it. There has been a ton of warfare against this, which is part of the reason that I'm just now getting to this blog, but God has also brought about clarity on the topic of my calling. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to loose my job soon, but I'm not too worried about that. I knew that the time for this job was drawing shut I just wasn't sure the timing was this close. However, I'm at peace with it if it happens. It was more disconcerting to be out of touch with my hearts desires than to not know how I'm going to pay my bills when they dump me.
That clarity is this. I do want to market my book when it comes out. I do want to write my next book. I do want to live in a motor home/tailor etc. I do want a different job that is more relational and less bureaucratic where I have positive impact on the lives of the people I deal with.
God has also brought about the opportunity to be on the prayer team for a boot camp, which I've done before but always enjoy the challenge. Another possible opportunity is to start my coffee shop/book store with Joseph.
I also have a couple of action plans, by which I mean I know steps to take but I'm unable to predict or control the outcomes. These is my next steps in the actions plan:
I will look at job listings (though I'm not feeling a priority on this)
I will look for a motor home/trailer (though I don't know how I'd pay for it)
I will contact Pheonix university again (though I'm not certain I should go back)
I will continue to be open with my feelings on this blog (so I don't isolate)
I will read the book in a month manual and continue to write the mystery
I will continue to read the book on getting organized so I can reduce the things I own to what will fit in a motor home.
I will continue to eat healthier and exercise more. (so far not too bad.)
So far so good.
I'm deliberately entering into a time of prayer and fasting, and God has blessed me with a couple big opportunities for reflection during this season. God has also begun to reveal things and bring clarity, so I know that its working and I'm really encouraged by that.
The action plan started May 5 and will last until my birthday June 9. It includes:
fitting in a 5 day liver cleanse
change of diet and exercise (to be discovered en route)
writing in this blog daily (lol we can see how that's gone so far)
writing a book in 30 days (I've wanted to do this for a long time)
Simplifying and organizing projects
When I say God has really met me in this I mean it. There has been a ton of warfare against this, which is part of the reason that I'm just now getting to this blog, but God has also brought about clarity on the topic of my calling. Unfortunately, it looks like I'm going to loose my job soon, but I'm not too worried about that. I knew that the time for this job was drawing shut I just wasn't sure the timing was this close. However, I'm at peace with it if it happens. It was more disconcerting to be out of touch with my hearts desires than to not know how I'm going to pay my bills when they dump me.
That clarity is this. I do want to market my book when it comes out. I do want to write my next book. I do want to live in a motor home/tailor etc. I do want a different job that is more relational and less bureaucratic where I have positive impact on the lives of the people I deal with.
God has also brought about the opportunity to be on the prayer team for a boot camp, which I've done before but always enjoy the challenge. Another possible opportunity is to start my coffee shop/book store with Joseph.
I also have a couple of action plans, by which I mean I know steps to take but I'm unable to predict or control the outcomes. These is my next steps in the actions plan:
I will look at job listings (though I'm not feeling a priority on this)
I will look for a motor home/trailer (though I don't know how I'd pay for it)
I will contact Pheonix university again (though I'm not certain I should go back)
I will continue to be open with my feelings on this blog (so I don't isolate)
I will read the book in a month manual and continue to write the mystery
I will continue to read the book on getting organized so I can reduce the things I own to what will fit in a motor home.
I will continue to eat healthier and exercise more. (so far not too bad.)
So far so good.
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