Present Future

This is a concept that took me ages to come to peace with. Now I'm a major proponent of the idea. Being present future focused doesn't mean the past doesn't exist. But frankly the past is of far less benefit to us than the present.

The best thing the past can do for us, whether our own personal history or that of entire cultures, is teach us lesson about the outcomes of certain actions or attitudes. That sounds pretty good, but the problem is that so many of those lessons are wrong. We often think we've learned from the past when we are actually drawing conclusions from our experience with the event at the time it happened. It's one thing to journal your life events and then examine them awhile later, put them in perspective, and draw a lesson from it. But what most of us do is leap to a conclusion about the outcome of our actions very quickly after implementing them. Which is essentially living in yesterday's present. We end up being guided by fear of repeating actions who's outcomes were painful even if those actions were ultimately beneficial.

The worst thing about holding onto the past is our tendency to compare today with the time when things were better. It's not a fair comparison, and it won't make you feel any better about today. If you were making different choices and life was better than yes you might glean something of value, but you could access the same information by prayer. Just ask God why you are unhappy and you'll get the right answer even if you never were happy.

As long as we remember that we can only predict 30% to 50% of the outcomes for our actions we are safe to look forward to the future with anticipation of something good happening.

The present is the only thing we can even hope to control. While control is a worthy goal its not good to really strive for. We never have full control and if we got it, we'd be miserable.

Most of us are pretty comfortable with the idea that we change our future by the decisions we make today. It's a bit harder to swallow the idea that we change our past with the decisions we make today. But I believe, with all my heart that it is true. If our today is an unconscious amalgam of yesterdays decisions we are doomed to repeat our actions even if we fear the results. If I'm right the decisions we make today can undo the results of yesterdays decisions on our soul and spirit, thereby wiping away most of the record of yesterdays decision.

Now if you've been eating unhealthy for a long time, eating healthy won't make you thin by the end of today, but if you're willing to make better choices each day you can eventually reverse most of the physical effects of your bad choices as well, yes. The same goes for injuries we've dealt to other people. Better choices today may eventually repair a relationship with someone. If it doesn't you will still be able to effect new friendships in the future. I know a lot of people who don't make new friends because past friendships didn't go well. Deciding who you are today, instead of unconsciously letting your past decide for you can change who you are.

Now one caveat: counseling will take you into the past, but you should be looking to reinterpret the past from an older, safer place. If its making you live from the past its not helping you.

Also: Deciding to take chances just because you are a new person isn't always wise. There's a difference between not living from your unprocessed past and deciding to forgo boundaries or contemplating your decisions.